There are three types of people in this world. One plans everything and goes off what they plan. The other, plans something and never follows what they plan or they get off the track somewhere. The last, plans nothing and leaves everything to chance.
I am more like the second myself. Yet, I would rather be the last if I couldn’t be the first. When plans fall through, I get anxious. My anger rises, blood pressure rises, anxiety level rises…everything rises. This is why I don’t like to be in charge of making plans.
We are a species designed to want to know the unknown and be in control. We want to know how everything ends. The question of the unknown scares everyone. We say we will follow God, but yet want to still be in control so that we know how everything will happen, but then blame Him when everything falls through.
I have a good friend that I grew up with in high school, Jaime. He is one of my best friends. Jaime and I are different on so many levels though. I live for adventure; he lives for the foregone conclusion.
Jaime had his life planned out from the beginning of senior year high school. I had no clue what I was going to do about the next month, let alone college. Not Jaime. Jaime knew he was going to get a scholarship, was going to get a bachelor’s in chemical engineering, go on to graduate school and make about a 6 figure income. He knew he would buy a house after college and then get married. He has an “emergency fund” just in case something does happen. He is the kind of person that has to know the end result and always be prepared.
I wish I was this way. Every plan I have ever made has fallen through. I have been engaged once, and that neither happened, nor was it God’s will. It was me trying to make my own end result. I planned on being married by 25, have one kid at 28 and the last at 30. This did not happen.
My plans were not His. I used to get angry because of this, but recently have found peace.
I still sometimes question the “what’s” and “why’s” with God. I guess you could say that I have not fully given over my confidence to Him. I think that is the last part of giving our lives to God that everyone has trouble with. We like to have control. Without control, we act like we are walking on glass, very carefully.
We plan our days, weeks, even our years. And when something disturbs our plans, we question God. Death, illness, occupational problems cause us to question Him. We want to know why He would allow something like that to happen. Why, when everything is going great does He allow us to go through trials.
Let’s take an extreme. What if everyone got their way? What if everyone’s team won every time, everyone always hit the jackpot, everyone was always healthy and there was never a concern in the world. Would you ever talk to God? Probably not.
What would a world be without the uncertainty, the butterflies in our stomach, and the pain in our hearts? It would probably be very bland.
Our spirituality is like a muscle. It cannot get stronger without resistance. We have to work out to grow our muscles. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to become stronger.
Without spiritual resistance, we are unable to grow in God. We need the problems in this world to affect us so we can learn to grow our confidence in Him. The more I tend to go through, the more I am learning to give over the reins of my life to Him.
Most of us want to treat God like a puppet. We want to control Him by telling Him in our prayers what to do. Thinking that he will do it, but when it doesn’t happen, we get upset. God doesn’t treat us as puppets, why would we think that He would allow us to treat Him like one?
The uncertainty of the unknown is where God lies. That is where God loves to show us his true power. It is in the small chances that God likes to flex His Power. When we don’t think it can happen; that is when God makes it happen. It is when we lose control, that God takes control.
Uncertainty is a fear. Yet, if we are all living inside His will, we should be confident to know that He is not going to lead us down a path that He has not set before us.
Think about Joseph in Genesis. His brothers faked his death and sold him into slavery. He was imprisoned for 13 years. He could have easily rejected that God was in control of his life, but he never did. In fact, when he revealed himself to his brothers he said:
“And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.” (Genesis 45.5-7)
I like to run. I like to push myself. The main reason I like to run because I am always uncertain if I can finish the race. It is this uncertainty that keeps me running, and the goal of the finish line.
I am learning to love the uncertainty of life. In it, I know that if I just cast “everything” on Him and just hold on to His promises, that I will be led on the path that He has set before me.
One of my favorite songs is by Tenth Avenue North. In it, they sing “why are you crying, let me lift up your face, just don't turn away.” When I heard this song a year ago, it broke me. How many times have I tried to live my life in control?
It’s time to embrace my uncertain future and know that God has a certain one for me.
“Embrace relational uncertainty. It’s called romance. Embrace spiritual uncertainty. It’s called mystery. Embrace occupational uncertainty. It’s called destiny. Embrace emotional uncertainty. It’s called Joy. Embrace intellectual uncertainty. It’s called revelation.”
-Mark Batterson
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