hiking my trail

I guess you could say that I have had an “off” week.  Really haven’t felt like talking or writing.  Just been going to work and hanging out, reading, at Starbucks.

I have had everything on my mind and I have a huge problem getting it out.  The only time I am not thinking about it is at work, which is why I had worked soooo much this week.  I’m trying to distract myself. 

I went out with friends last night to see Green Lantern and not much socializing happened there.  Tonight, I met up with my best friends and their wife’s. I hate being the only one not married, besides Trey. 

I envy him though.  He is content being single.  Either he doesn’t need that love that I desire or he hides it well.  Maybe he is one of those people that Paul talked about that is called to be single in 1 Corinthians 7.

However, I don’t believe I am and I am not content being single.  I actually had a weak moment this week.  I did what I called, went through the used pile of girls.  Meaning, I went through my phone and found a girl I dated and thought that maybe I should give her another try.  This would be “I heart weed” girl.

True story.  She said that on our first date.  Thought maybe I’d go out with her and see if maybe I could over look that.

I can’t.  Who am I fooling?  I have standards and refuse to lower my standards.  I deleted all my girlfriends numbers (all of them) so I won’t ever be tempted to call them or bug the ones that have asked me to leave them alone.  Figure if they want to talk to me, they can text me or call me. 

I hear people say that they “don’t have any regrets in life.”  I think that is a bunch of crap.  I think those who have regrets are just afraid to admit that they do so they can act like they don’t have anything to feel sad about.

I have a lot of regrets.  Actually, just a few.  When I think back in my life, there are only about 3 things I would change. 

I believe that I am following God’s path right now and I know that he is telling me to be patient and He will deliver on His promise.  It is just hard waiting for it.  Maybe patience is what He is trying to teach me right now. 

Trey and I are hiking the Inca trail this next spring.  It is a 4 day hike to the lost city of Machu Picchu. This is what the Inca’s made visitor’s hike to get to their city.  The funny thing is you can actually take a trail that takes about 8 hours to get to the city.  However, the Inca’s made visitors take this enormous, extraneous hike so that they could appreciate the fullness of the beauty of their city.

Maybe that is what God is doing with me.  I could take the easy way to get what I want, or be patient.  Go through the extraneous hike that God has set before me so that when I arrive at the final destination.  I will appreciate it more.  That destination being finding my wife. 

My prayer tonight is that His hand is upon her and that He sends her comfort right now, letting her know that I am praying for her, even if I don’t even know who she is yet.