Times like these, I don't know how to act. What to do. Who to talk to. What I should even say.
My mother called me about 30 minutes ago to let me know that my grandfather had passed on. This is not the same grandpa that I wrote about a couple of weeks ago. This is Grandpa Elkins. My mother's father. We had been expecting this all week.
Monday morning he didn't get out of bed. The hospice nurse called my mother and her sister over immediately. My grandfather had just lost the strength and was in to much pain. His body had begun to shut down.
He hadn't been the same since his heart attack three years ago. It was a miracle he survived that.
However, after the doctor had visited on Tuesday afternoon, my grandfather had slipped out of consciousness. The doctor said it wouldn't be long. The options were to take him to the hospital and keep him alive longer or keep him at home and just make him as comfortable as possible.
My grandpa had told my mom that he doesn't want to pass in a hospital, that he would rather pass at home with his children around him. That is exactly how it happened.
Everyone says the normal "he's in a better place now" or "he's no longer suffering'" but it doesn't change the fact that there is now a wide gap in my heart. As I said about my other grandfather (who is in a long term care facility now), this man has known me my whole life.
I have never known a day without my grandfather Lynn.
I won't lie, Grandpa Lynn was not like your normal Grandpa's. He never said I love you, but he would show it everytime you left by walking you out to your car and tell you to drive home safe.
He was very frugal with his money. You would think at first glance that he was some bum off the street. That wasn't the case at all. He was actually the richest person I have ever known.
Grandpa grew up poor. Very poor. At age 14, he had to help support his family. So he always had a fear of not having money. So he saved every dime he had. He never bought nice things, him and my grandmother never went out to dinner nor did they ever go on vacation.
My mom, aunt and uncles always encouraged them to go on vacation. My grandfather kept on insisting that he would when he retired.
6 months after he retired, my grandmother passed away.
I know he was angry with God for a long time. He felt cheated, and since then, I had not known my grandpa to be truly happy since it happened. He missed my grandmother everyday. He wished he would had been taken and not her. He was left alone...with his money, but no one to enjoy it with.
I had prayed for peace for my grandpa for these past years. My mom told me a couple of weeks ago that he had found it. That he felt God gave him the extra years after his heart attack to get things right between the two of them.
So now, I grieve the loss of my grandpa, but I celebrate that he and my grandmother are together again. However, how do you say goodbye to someone that has always been in your life. I have never gone a day without my grandfather in my life.
I pray the God sends his comforter to me and my family during this time.
I love you Grandpa.
No comments:
Post a Comment