Nothing much to say tonight.
I guess you could say that I did what I do with all my dates that get close to me....with my best friends.
I am pushing them away. It is nothing they have done and I am trying to stress that to them. I Just see my best friends moving forward with their lives and I am stuck in the same place.
It's not like my other friends who have gotten married, I have grown up with these guys my whole life. Side by side. First people I ever drank with. First one's that I ever got drunk with. The one's I told when I first slept with a girl. We were those guys. In-separable.
However, like all things, it changed. Not right away, but it did.
Danny got married, Jaime bought a house.
Jaime got married, Danny bought a house.
Brandon is still single and has yet to buy his house.
They got mad at me Saturday because I was so disconnected from them. I played on my ipad all night while not playing monopoly with them. Kind of being a dick.
I measure myself with them, which I shouldn't, but when you grow up next to the same two people your whole life, you can't help but do.
So, I opened Pandora's box last night and made a fuss about a stupid subject. Just felt if I could piss them off, I could just go my own separate way. Trying to protect myself and all. I had noticed that the past few time we have all gotten together lately, I had been feeling more depressed. Again, nothing they did.
So, instead of reconcile, I am trying to walk away from it all. They are not making it easy though.
So like all good relationships, I am pushing them away. I feel that maybe if I can catch up to them, then I can b around them.
It's just a defensive mechanism.
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