I don’t write much anymore. Not for blogging purposes that is. Life is great. Nothing I can complain about. Nothing new has happened. No new found fortune or lady friends for that matter. I have settled for the life that I have been given and enjoy every moment of that.
Of course, there are many out there who could say that I am missing out on great women, but here is the truth. It has nothing to do with those ladies. They are all great women. Nothing wrong with them, they are just not for me. Am I not allowed to say that? Can that be ok with everyone?
I was talking to a customer today and she found it strange that I was single and shared an office with Kim. I asked her why. She said Kim was a great woman and very pretty, which I agreed with. So she couldn’t understand why I was not interested in her. I told her that Kim and I are great friends and co-workers and we are destined to work together and be friends, but nothing more. Nothing can come between our work relationship and that means we will never date. That should be more reason than enough.
This brought me to a realization. The women I date and never give a second, third or fourth date are not bad women. Well, a few are…. No, these women are beautiful women with great personalities. They are just not the one for me. I know when I will find that one, because it has happened once. And I believe that it will happen again.
I say this because I know I have hurt many people in the past. It is easier for me to type it than tell them personally. I don’t like hurting people and no one ever believe the “it’s not you, it’s me” line. However, this is in fact the truth. It is not you, it is me.
Not that there is nothing wrong with you, the connection is just not with me. I think sometimes we can be to drawn in by lust rather than our true emotions. I have done it before, which led me to an engagement and a lot of pain.
Beauty is not everything. I agree you have to be physically attracted to that one person before anything. However, after that beauty, you have to know that you can love that person past everything they put you through.
So I say this. I have not found that second person that makes me feel that way. I don’t know if I ever will. I do know that my faith in God and trust in Him has increased this past summer. I love Him more each and every day. When I stumble, He picks me up. I know that His love is never failing and that I can find comfort in Him.
I always recite to myself Psalms 37.4 “Delight yourself also in the Lord; And He shall give you the desires of your heart.” Though, I have, until recently forgotten what the first part of the scripture truly means.
I need to find happiness in the God and God alone. Regardless of what happens with my future, occupational, relational, church…al, I need to be happy with just Him, then the my desires will be given to me.
So, if I have let you down, I am sorry. If someone else has let you down, know it's not your fault. God will provide. There is someone for everyone. I truly believe that. However, sometimes we force OUR will and not His. Be you for Him, not for a guy or girl
My prayer tonight is this. That God show me comfort in just Him. Nothing else. I know a lot of times we say this, but we don’t live it. I want to live it. I want to be joyful the rest of my days knowing, if I were to grow old without ever getting married or having a child, I would still find joy and hapiness in Him.
Amen
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