I read a book last year that really changed my life. It was "a million miles in a thousand years" by Donald Miller.
I think I need to read it again.
This time though, I need change in my relationship life. You think when you work at a place that you love to go to everyday, make great money and have the time off that you need, you'd be happy.
I am comfortable in my current state. Even though that current state is not healthy for me, nor will it ever benefit me.
I do not like change. I try not to make plans so that I never have plans to mess up. If things don't go according to plan, I get upset. Sad, but true. So how do you fit someone in your life when that might change your current situation?
These are the questions I have. I am comfortable going on my dates every week, but then having the rest of my week for me. I should re-act happy when someone wants to randomly see me, right?
Now this has nothing to do with any one person at all. Current girl I am dating is amazing....and luckily, I can be honest with her about all this and she gets it. That makes one of us.
Is this what I have been missing all along? That uncomfortable transition from all about "me me me:" to "us us us." Actually, I think it is suppose to be "her her her," but the last few times I did that it bit me right on the ass.
See, I have always dated and the serious relationships have always been over in about 3-7 months (except my high-school relationship). Sad, I know. I have never allowed time to do its job and I always rushed everything.
I mean, who doesn't want the dream of being married and having children to call your own?
Right now, I have every reason to go back to bed and fall asleep, but these thoughts keep me up at night. Sometimes I wish they would had taught this stuff in school. How is anyone suppose to know how to keep a healthy relationship when the only thing that surrounds them is unhealthy relationships?
I, of course, am leaving this to God. The last thing I need is another relationship rushed by me or her.
